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02 June 2011 @ 12:22 pm
Discussion on L.A. Noire, why my panties are always wet, WoW, and Prototype is Cutie Honey  
The short of it: L.A. Noire is an awesome game and if you have a PS3, you should go buy it right now and play it.

The long of it: L.A. Noire is a throwback to oldschool third person adventure/puzzle games of the Tim Schafer variety with a few driving and combat sections thrown in to hold the gnat-like attention spans of the Nintendo generation. It reminds me of a mix between Grim Fandango, Ace Attorney and Deadly Premonition minus the charm, whimsy and supernatural elements those games posses and with a lot more gritty murders and stern looking men being stern.

I will say it now, Cole Phelps is as bland and boring and cardboard as a protagonist can get. He's the picture-perfect caricature of the stony-faced-my-past-is-so-sad-and-that-should-make-me-interesting-but-it-really-doesn't hard-boiled detective that denizens of the 21st century think protagonists from the Film Noire generation were but actually weren't. I like his partner infinitely more, but what can I say. I tend to like characters with more than two mood settings.

Phelps aside, the side characters are fucking great. The mysteries are genuinely intriguing and it's fun getting to the bottom of all these sordid little affairs. I like the emphasis the game puts on exploration, and if you couldn't tell from how I drool all over the Assassin's Creed games, I love exploring historical locales rendered pretty accurately. The visuals are great as well. I love that the game is rendered in bright, sunny colours rather than going the obvious route and using faded and drab pallets that would give it an old timey effect. It definitely gives the impression that this is the present day for the characters, and it the over saturation makes it look like sunny California.

Hmm... what else...? Driving and combat is clunky but manageable, but that's not really what you're playing the game for. That's what you play the Grand Theft Auto games for. This is, at it's heart, a puzzle game and a good one.

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Other news, a couple weeks ago Jay finally broke me and got me to make a WoW account. I now have a level 60 human 100 Gold Hussy Rogue named Felix Grey. I just bought the Burning Crusade expansion. Shut up don't judge me.

I love playing with him and Missa but MMOs are always best enjoyed with friends

As a note, this is only tiding me over until Guild Wars II comes out.

OhgodIamlikepissingmyselfinanticipation.

And because I can never not bitch about something, I have to say one thing about WoW;

WHY IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE AN ATTRACTIVE MALE CHARACTER ON ANYTHING BUT BLOOD ELF? SERIOUSLY.

Also goblin females are fucking adorable.

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Releases I am anticipating in the coming two months:

Alice: The Madness Returns
Catherine

Also, will be asking for a oh god not sure if I can say it... ...a 360 and a kinect for my birthday. Because Dance Central oh my god yes. Also Deadly Premonition~ Since I'm not paying $100+ for an import of the Japanese Red Seeds Profile for the PS3.

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And to wrap up, here's a little something from the bowels of my twisted little mind:

The I-System VS The Blacklight Virus

No, seriously. I was playing Prototype the other day and I just couldn't help but have this weird sense of Deja Vu. Like I had seen this story play out somewhere before... Then it hit me.

Prototype is a darker, grittier version of Hideaki Anno's RE: Cutie Honey.

Really.

Both protagonists are non-human doppelgangers for characters that are already dead (the Blacklight Virus for Alex Mercer and the I-System for Honey Kisaragi) with hardly any information on their actual pasts. Both are motivated by revenge. Both are uberpowered shape-shifters that can run up buildings and have to eat their weight in humans/infected or in Honey's case onigiri to replenish their strength. Both are fighting against their evil (or in Alex's case, eviler) prototypes with the aid of their Badass Normal partner who starts off as an antagonist but eventually becomes an ally with a bit of Gay/Lesbian sexual tension on the side. Eventually the true antagonists (Greene/Sister Jill) spread their infection far too wide and the government decides to nuke Manhattan/Tokyo and the protagonists have to put themselves in the way of the bomb to stop it. Alex flies the bomb off the island where it detonates in the sea and he gets caught in the blast and regenerates from a single cell. Honey absorbs the bomb and turns it into a Care Bear Stare.

The only difference? Honey could totally kick Alex's ass.

But... in the off-chance Alex were to win, and he absorbed Honey, I wonder what kind of changes he might undergo in his personality?

...Oh.

I can live with that.

Art post coming soon~♥

Jabbers out.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Angel is a Centerfold - J. Geils Band
 
 
 
the angry young man: riku-hornytransrelativity on June 2nd, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
WHAT DID I TELL YOU about Dance Central? You shoulda played more while we had it at the party! Or do you just want it so that you can watch your friends flail around in front of the teevee?
jabberart: EAR WAGGLEjabberart on June 2nd, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC)
I want it so I can learn how to dance but yeah, watching people flail like someone just dropped a jar of ants down their shirt is also pretty much worth blowing the $400 bucks on :3

Also Deadly Premonition no I will not shut up about it.
leave no path untaken。: [doctor] serious sock puppets!patchouli on June 2nd, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
oh phelps, you colossal douche

i feel dirty pining for a 360. ainsley, what has science done o3o
jabberart: The fuck is this?jabberart on June 4th, 2011 03:24 am (UTC)
He is. We should stab him in his magical weakpoint.

Don't feel dirty. Just... just think of it as getting another PC. For the tv.